"mumma,am doing well?how r u all der?"..shakil asked this when the call was disconnected.This was the call he didn't wish to be disconnected at any cost,may be the last in the list of discriminations meted out to him by the Authorities.
Boss(Mr.Abdul) was the person who gave him a smile when society turned its discrminative face to him.He gave him lot of money.Shakil enjoyed life to the fullest and all his sisters got married and his father and mother are healthy and living good.
Shakil felt he has nothing more to accomplish.His boss is urging him to fight against the authorities that discrminated him and the people from his community.
He knew Islam doesnt advocate violence and stood for peace always.But his boss was eloquent enough to make him follow the path of violence.
And it was late when he knew about the source of money of his boss and he was getting it from some one whom he has seen as charismatic political leaders in daylight.But shakil couldn't come out of the trap.
He was made to believe life is only that much and should sacrifice his life for their community....yeah,tomorrow shakil is the suicide bomber of the squad...some political leader is visiting that place..
Thats why shakkil called his mother.She was told he is working in a high profile job.He talked a bit too much today,he felt.
mumma too asked him,"son,you are in a good mood today?"
Shakil couldnt reply..but he managed to produce an artificial laugh....
He even dont know how much damage he is going to inflict tomorrow.
He thought..Media will report the number of deaths,but he wont be counted
when his mumma will be reliefed to see the absence of his son among civilian caualities,but only to know that suicide bomber was his son..
"shaki,relax..sleep tight...got to do the work tomorrow..you are becoming a martyr"
its BOSS..
shakil thought "How can an Antinational be called a Martyr,Boss?"
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Sub Prime Crisis...
This is the Information I got from my friend Manoj who is working in a recruiting company in bangalore and has worked in mortgages..
Sub prime crisis is the root cause of all financial problems in USA. Although I have heard about that,I didnt know about that,until manoj clarified me.
...How we calculate your eligibility : Suppose u have an income of Rs50000 per month., the bank assumes that you need 45 % of that to run your house.
So we take out 55% as your potential EMI.
Supposing you have other loans running, thats also deducted from this..eg:Income = 50000
55% of this : 27500
u have a personal/carloan EMI of :7000
Net EMI possible = 20500
Now the bank assumes that you can pay 20500 permonth for your homeloan.
There are 2 types of interst rates.Floating and fixed.
Fixed rates remain unchanged for the tenure of the loan, and floating would keep varying with the bank changing the rates.The eligibility of loan is a division of Net EMI possible and EMI par lac.
Homeloan rates in 2006 Jan was 7.00% floating, This means for a 20 year loan , the EMI would have been apprx 650 per lac .
Eligibility at Net EMI of 20500 = 31 lacs. Assume he took 31 lacs as his loan.
As the market fluctatued and rates went up, the same customer is now at 12.5% rate of interst..New EMI per lac is 12000 per month.
His EMI payable now on 31 lacs is around Rs 37000 permonth.How much wud his salary have gone up??? Even at a increase of a decent 10% per year, he wud be at 60000 now... His current running cost = 37000 (homeloan) + 7000 (other loan) = 44000 on EMis alone..Inflation is at 12%... add other running costs, and he wud have nothing to live on.You call it sub-prime, bad credit, bad finance management .... he has no option but to default...
So he can't repay the loan resulting in unpaid debts for the bank and economy shatters...
Sub prime crisis is the root cause of all financial problems in USA. Although I have heard about that,I didnt know about that,until manoj clarified me.
...How we calculate your eligibility : Suppose u have an income of Rs50000 per month., the bank assumes that you need 45 % of that to run your house.
So we take out 55% as your potential EMI.
Supposing you have other loans running, thats also deducted from this..eg:Income = 50000
55% of this : 27500
u have a personal/carloan EMI of :7000
Net EMI possible = 20500
Now the bank assumes that you can pay 20500 permonth for your homeloan.
There are 2 types of interst rates.Floating and fixed.
Fixed rates remain unchanged for the tenure of the loan, and floating would keep varying with the bank changing the rates.The eligibility of loan is a division of Net EMI possible and EMI par lac.
Homeloan rates in 2006 Jan was 7.00% floating, This means for a 20 year loan , the EMI would have been apprx 650 per lac .
Eligibility at Net EMI of 20500 = 31 lacs. Assume he took 31 lacs as his loan.
As the market fluctatued and rates went up, the same customer is now at 12.5% rate of interst..New EMI per lac is 12000 per month.
His EMI payable now on 31 lacs is around Rs 37000 permonth.How much wud his salary have gone up??? Even at a increase of a decent 10% per year, he wud be at 60000 now... His current running cost = 37000 (homeloan) + 7000 (other loan) = 44000 on EMis alone..Inflation is at 12%... add other running costs, and he wud have nothing to live on.You call it sub-prime, bad credit, bad finance management .... he has no option but to default...
So he can't repay the loan resulting in unpaid debts for the bank and economy shatters...
Sunday, October 19, 2008
one time passer.....
Bini and Bhavana ...........
Bini looked at that letters......
oh god!!!!My mind is completely void.....why so?This has been the case for sometime....I will write two sentences like this and think for a while and sign out....but today I should make bini do something.....come on bini...whats your problem?where is your bhavana?.....
Bini replied nothing....but he turned on the computer and showed me Bhavana....
Oh....Is this bhavana?....I thought.But if i asked that loud to him,I would have given the right emotion to the words and now even I am confused about the emotion that I had when I asked that in my mind.
Any way,That confusion is almost equal to the confusion that I have about what I am writing here and where I am leading to.
"Bhavana was an average girl and she liked me a lot.I liked her personally..but I was not in a position to love her..I am in a higher caste and My family was very narrow minded and foresaw the resistances I might have to endure if I went ahead with my love and marry her.So I didn't paid attention to bhavana .
But Bhavana couldnt put aside her feelings..she knew about the problems I had and at times she realised and tried to runaway from me..but she couldn't run far away.She continued becoming closer to me,each time she tried to ran away from me."
Date:jul 18...9.30 pm
He showed this to me in his diary written last year....I wanted to ask him..whats the need of this much attention to her in your life...Just punch her out of your way and move ahead...
I felt those words from my mind struck bhavana in that diary and reflected back to Bini.
Bini suddenly spoke out as if he heard me,"hey,I can understand her,she is trying her best to move out of my way,then knowing that how can I punch her out,da?"
Oh..it seems now that I can understand him.Its love in one direction and sympathy in other and the latter is in no way helping both.Sympathy is acting as a positive feedback for bhavana to love bini more and more.
So its a disease which can be cured by inaction rather than action?.Does time has the capability to solve that problem?.
But my advice for Bini is to punch her out...yeah Bini,that might be an initial shock for her,but in the longer run that will help you only.And be friends always....
PS:Question to myself,vattanalle?......
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Where there is a will..there is a way??
Its always a good feeling to be in the rain..you feel a little more confident..please dont ask me how but i do feel...Now it has started raining here in the evenings with Thunder and lightning...but i love rain...we play a lot of cricket these days and we start in a bright and sunny atmosphere and ending up only in Heavy rain...But its always a good feel to play in rain..
Coming to Thunder and lightning...I doubt its the reason that I love rain..Yeah ,its true...
May be theory of relativity...:)....(may be sounding dumb)
when both comes..I love rain as much as i hate thunder...
When rain disrupts electricity....I hate rain as much as I love computer....again a relativity..
So it all depends on a reference and whats the difference it can bring to us..i.e..whether its positive or negative
But when I am too involved in computer and wasting my time for productive work I wont hate computer as much as I love any job..in fact the case is that I don't love productive jobs and so I can't hate computer..when I waste time
So the need of the hour is willingness and we should enjoy all those things which bring us good even though it requires
some effort..
Coming to Thunder and lightning...I doubt its the reason that I love rain..Yeah ,its true...
May be theory of relativity...:)....(may be sounding dumb)
when both comes..I love rain as much as i hate thunder...
When rain disrupts electricity....I hate rain as much as I love computer....again a relativity..
So it all depends on a reference and whats the difference it can bring to us..i.e..whether its positive or negative
But when I am too involved in computer and wasting my time for productive work I wont hate computer as much as I love any job..in fact the case is that I don't love productive jobs and so I can't hate computer..when I waste time
So the need of the hour is willingness and we should enjoy all those things which bring us good even though it requires
some effort..
April 29....
April 29,2005..it was the last day for the application of combined first-second semester university examination.I was in chennai then ,enjoying the vacation...not knowing anything about this.And the same day evening ,got a call from my uncle saying that last date of application was that day...you can just imagine my state of mind then...He said I can apply in the university till may 10 ,but I wanted to reach thrissur as early as possible but had to wait till next day evening..because chennai-trivandrum mail starts everyday evening at 6.30 pm from chennai central.I am very thankful to my friends Anoop M K and Abeesh for contacting my uncle and telling him about his.They tried on our landline at kottayam but there was no one there...I am thankful to myself also..:)..that I gave my uncles number also to my friends and wondering why I didn't give the chennai number..I was not having a mobile phone at that time...
So I started next evening and was in the General compartment .....vacation time....no need of imagination to know about the situation I was in...
Actually I took the ticket to kottayam..That was another mistake..because I had my application filled and attested and kept in my house...but I could have got it from college itself..:(..
So by 8.30 am..I reached kottayam..Then..one hour journey to my place and got the attested application form and then one hour journey back to railway station and then straight to Thrissur..I stayed in my hostel "THOMSON" alone and issue was not sorted out..Now its the question whether i need to go to calicut?
Next day morning I went to office and i was told there is another date on which they will accept with fine...But its May 5...it was not possible for me to stay there until then..Then I saw jayakrishnan from Civil and he was staying in hostel for the study leave somewhere in viyyur..I told him about my situation and he said he can do it for me...Thus problem got sorted out by May 1 noon and then its the wait for the train back to chennai...I got allepey-chennai at 6.50pm and reached chennai next day morning.....and again in the general compartment the whole night..
Thus in the span of 60 hours...635+30+135+500=1300 kilometres...oh!!just can't imagine the physical and mental stress I endured..
So I started next evening and was in the General compartment .....vacation time....no need of imagination to know about the situation I was in...
Actually I took the ticket to kottayam..That was another mistake..because I had my application filled and attested and kept in my house...but I could have got it from college itself..:(..
So by 8.30 am..I reached kottayam..Then..one hour journey to my place and got the attested application form and then one hour journey back to railway station and then straight to Thrissur..I stayed in my hostel "THOMSON" alone and issue was not sorted out..Now its the question whether i need to go to calicut?
Next day morning I went to office and i was told there is another date on which they will accept with fine...But its May 5...it was not possible for me to stay there until then..Then I saw jayakrishnan from Civil and he was staying in hostel for the study leave somewhere in viyyur..I told him about my situation and he said he can do it for me...Thus problem got sorted out by May 1 noon and then its the wait for the train back to chennai...I got allepey-chennai at 6.50pm and reached chennai next day morning.....and again in the general compartment the whole night..
Thus in the span of 60 hours...635+30+135+500=1300 kilometres...oh!!just can't imagine the physical and mental stress I endured..
Pooja.....
Today is vijayadhashami...I used to "pooja vaikal" my study materials.This the first year in memory which i didnot do that...Because Icompleted my studies.These were the days i always used to wait during my school days.No studies at all...a big relief actually...during my college years i didnt wait actually..because all days were like pooja holidays except for study leave before semester exams...
During my lower primary and upper primary school days we used to take all our study materials to an "ashram" in our place.There are a lot of swamis in that ,what do you call,monastery.They are the ones who dont do any miracles and so genuine.But they can calm your mind with their looks and words and they are considering themselves to be one among us,although they are much above us...I always love the smell of "sarpagandhi" flower in the courtyard of that ashram.
so in durgashtami evening we would go to the ashram and give our study materials.Then after we shouldnot read anything....but truth is that we read anything and everything we saw because of the temptation to do something which we are told not to do.we didn't pick and read ,but suppose we were seeing a film we were eager to know who all worked behind it only during pooja holidays...:)
Then after 2 nights and one day..we would go to the ashram again on vijayadhashmi morning.There will be a lot of kids there doing their "vidyarambham".swamis writing on their tongue "harishree ganapathaye namah" using a golden ring.We take back our books we give "dakshina" to the swami...Then there will be a treat by the swamis.....
"Avil,pazham etc"....swamis doesnt like tea...so hot water will be given....when the glass came,i always expected tea but was sad to find hot water..:)
Then on sand we will write all the malayalam letters we learned ...starting with.."om..harishreeganapathaye namah"..Then.."swaraksharangal" and "vygananksharangal"
We will come back to home and will take a plate full of "kuthari"...we will repeat the thing we performed on sand...after that we will take one book out and read one paragraph and straight to ground to have a final one-day match before the start of class next day...
During my lower primary and upper primary school days we used to take all our study materials to an "ashram" in our place.There are a lot of swamis in that ,what do you call,monastery.They are the ones who dont do any miracles and so genuine.But they can calm your mind with their looks and words and they are considering themselves to be one among us,although they are much above us...I always love the smell of "sarpagandhi" flower in the courtyard of that ashram.
so in durgashtami evening we would go to the ashram and give our study materials.Then after we shouldnot read anything....but truth is that we read anything and everything we saw because of the temptation to do something which we are told not to do.we didn't pick and read ,but suppose we were seeing a film we were eager to know who all worked behind it only during pooja holidays...:)
Then after 2 nights and one day..we would go to the ashram again on vijayadhashmi morning.There will be a lot of kids there doing their "vidyarambham".swamis writing on their tongue "harishree ganapathaye namah" using a golden ring.We take back our books we give "dakshina" to the swami...Then there will be a treat by the swamis.....
"Avil,pazham etc"....swamis doesnt like tea...so hot water will be given....when the glass came,i always expected tea but was sad to find hot water..:)
Then on sand we will write all the malayalam letters we learned ...starting with.."om..harishreeganapathaye namah"..Then.."swaraksharangal" and "vygananksharangal"
We will come back to home and will take a plate full of "kuthari"...we will repeat the thing we performed on sand...after that we will take one book out and read one paragraph and straight to ground to have a final one-day match before the start of class next day...
Friday, October 3, 2008
Day Dreams...
Being alone,no need to search for a topic to think..Topics just keep on coming.May be totally absurd at times..but just enough to forget the loneliness.There you enter that virtual world....is it called a day dream?
Dreams during sleep are very unpredictable.Very horrible at times.But I love day dreams as mentioned above.They are always good.I will be becoming everything which I can and I can't.
I heard someone saying tha 80% of our thoughts are based on past and only 20% about present and future.So if we dedicate more to future it can bring a difference.So day dreams is not that bad ,but every one is busy and no time at all.
And I really felt happy when some of my day dreams came true and then realised with disappointment that they are not dreams any more.
Longing for something gives you an expectation of happiness which is an evergreen emotion.But longing and getting gives you only a momentary happiness,may be "Theory of sour grapes".But I feel its true.
When I am looking forward to a Holiday...I enjoy the day before the holiday the most....it is the expecation of happiness...and that will be a day of dreams before that holiday...
Dreams during sleep are very unpredictable.Very horrible at times.But I love day dreams as mentioned above.They are always good.I will be becoming everything which I can and I can't.
I heard someone saying tha 80% of our thoughts are based on past and only 20% about present and future.So if we dedicate more to future it can bring a difference.So day dreams is not that bad ,but every one is busy and no time at all.
And I really felt happy when some of my day dreams came true and then realised with disappointment that they are not dreams any more.
Longing for something gives you an expectation of happiness which is an evergreen emotion.But longing and getting gives you only a momentary happiness,may be "Theory of sour grapes".But I feel its true.
When I am looking forward to a Holiday...I enjoy the day before the holiday the most....it is the expecation of happiness...and that will be a day of dreams before that holiday...
Thursday, October 2, 2008
ROSE
Rose.......You remember the first time when we met?no way,
right?
For me..you are in the first page of the album of my memories..I made you sit with me in my childhood days taking you away from your mother.she tried to resist with her thorns ,but my desire to be with you overcame that resistance.But you were happy to be with me,I remember.I enjoyed your fragrance,may be you were sharing your happiness with me.
I have seen you on cool mornings with dew drops all over your body.You were shivering in that cool atmosphere.I wanted to wipe away those dew and i didn't do it for the fear of shedding your petals.
Also I have seen you struggling under hot sun and I couldn't do anything but sympathize with you.
I thought I was the only person who got attracted to you and never believed you have any attribute that can cause universal attractiveness for the reason which i still dont know.May be I was a little possessive about you.
I got attracted to you not because of your red colour or smell ,but because of some other unique feature which i am trying to find out ..and will let you know it when I find it...
so my rose...Always be there in the Garden to make my days beautiful....
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